Shine Bright Like a Diamond

"Where much is expected from an individual, he may rise to the level of events and make the dream come true." ~Elbert Hubbard

It's been a week since Blade and I participated at the AKC International Team Tryouts and I am just now beginning to put into writing the feelings this past weekend evoked in me. 

I cannot honestly remember when I consciously made the decision to enter Blade at Tryouts. Some time last year? Six months ago? Three months ago? 

Again, I am not sure. 

I only know that I am glad that I did. 

It has been but an illusion of mine for quite some time, to one day enter Tryouts. An illusion that was so completely vague that I had never seriously considered the "who" part of the equation. It had remained a fleeting idea for such a long time that I simply looked at Tryouts as a far off ideal and not a tangible goal for myself and one of my dogs, let alone Blade.

Although the when will be shrouded in mystery, I do recall that after actually reading through the qualifications for this year's tryouts and realizing that Blade COULD compete, the idea shifted from an intangible ideal to something just a bit more attainable. Late last summer I started to actively teach Blade the mechanics of jumping 26" and after USDAA Nationals we began to compete at that height. 

Then winter set in and we rested.

 We let Agility take the back seat for the first time in a very long time...

and we lived.

And somewhere along the line I realized that I had fallen a bit out of love with Agility.

Actually, much more than a "bit."

 Agility had become much like Louis Lowry's world in the novel "The Giver." A place that upheld the laws of "sameness" and "routine" and the lives of those in it remained in the depths of a never ending winter.

Somehow, I had allowed a very mundane routine of "train, trial, redo" to set in. My goals had become foggy. Training had become humdrum. Trialing became simply ordinary. And the mundaneness of it all had extinguished the "color" from my Agility world. 

Then, some truly amazing people persuaded me to send in the "intent to compete" form for IT Tryouts. 

And something shifted, something changed. 

Somehow, my love for Agility was ignited again. It was a very gradual process, instead of simply "having" to train I began feeling the "urge" to train. I began to focus on HOW and WHAT to make better instead of simply putting the dogs through their paces. I began to feel the small thrill of excitement again, as I stepped to the line with both of my boys. I began running each and every run with so much joy, I'm sure some people couldn't stand it.

And like a flame, the "color" began to seep back in to my Agility world. That flame began burning brighter and brighter as Tryouts became closer and closer. 

And as I stepped to to the line with Blade during the first Round of Tryouts, it hit me with staggering clarity that the "color" was burning brightly enough to make Blade shine like the star he truly is. I simply didn't allow myself to worry about the footing, the challenges, Blade's training. None of it. 

We ran. 

We made mistakes. 

We didn't make mistakes. 

We ran, for the joy of running.

And at the end of it all, I made a daunting realization.

 I realized, that although I thought that Blade and I were far from ready to compete at such an event, against such competitors, we were not only ready, we not only belonged, we WILL be back to compete next year. And with everything in me we will run with just as much joy then as we did a week ago.

Until then, we will rest. 

We will live.

We will train with joy.

We will keep the color shining brightly in our very own Agility world.

And we will anxiously await next year's Tryouts.