It has been a while since I have posted.

It has been months since I have posted.

It has been months...

I do not consider myself a writer, although at times I find myself overcome with a simple desire to put into words the thoughts that are in my head. 

Sometimes, those thoughts pertain to Agility and at other times they do not.

For these past months, those thoughts have been on so many other wonderful aspects of my life. Leaving this space stagnent and empty. Leaving it almost a stranger to me.

On numerous occasions, I have attempted to simply sit down and put my thoughts into words. Yet, over these past few weeks I found myself unable to. 

Although the words are few, I feel as though I'm standing before someone I once knew. A stranger that now is, that once wasn't. As though, I'm looking for the perfect words to say to them. Perfect words that just won't come. 

And with that, I say the only thing that I can,

"Hello, old friend."

Is Teaching Enough?

I have been contemplating this particular question at length and yet, I still haven't found any semblance of a conclusion. Let me restate that; I haven't come to any conclusion that quenches my never-ending thirst for knowledge in regards to Agility...

Is Teaching Enough?

Three. Little. Words.

Three little words, that hold so much power in their implication.

Looking back, it has been just over seven years since I have enrolled any of my dogs in a structured Agility (or the like) class. I suppose for one reason or another (excluding the expense or travel time) there came a point that I was no longer receiving whatever it was, that I needed, to compel me to keep participating in said classes.

I'm asked on a regular basis "who" I train with, and often times people are quite surprised when I tell them that 95% of my training is done at home in my yard. The other 5% is made up of training time with friends, seminars, online classes and the occasional private lesson.

As of late, I find myself spending a great deal of time at trials discussing which instructors and seminar givers are coming to my area. I also find myself picking the brains of my friends who have worked with individuals who I haven't had an opportunity to.

There was a time that I tried going to as many seminars in the area as I could, it didn't matter who was giving the seminar. If they were within a few hours, my goal was to simply go to the seminar. The content of the seminar wasn't important, me getting myself to the seminar and actively listening to the material being presented was. More times then not I simply audited the seminars but on a few occasions I was able to snag a working spot with one of my dogs (and there was one time that I ran a dog who I had met for about five minute before I handled her.)

 Although my pocket book suffered a bit, I do think this was a critical turning point in my Agility "career", and I do think I learned some very valuable lessons along the way. Lessons that I hope have made me into not only a better dog trainer and handler but most importantly a better student.

Yes, a better student.

During my streak of "Seminar-going" I was made to feel many different emotions while working with different individuals;

I have felt jubilant,
I have felt compelled,
I have felt triumphant,
I have felt challenged,
I have felt adept,
I have felt ambitious
I have felt marvelous

and on the other hand,

I have felt ignored,
I have felt nervous,
I have felt inferior,
I have felt judged,
I have felt angry,
I have felt stupid,
I have felt ill-advised,

All because of the way a single person had chosen to teach or present a certain concept to me.
By no means am I implying that any individual intended to make me feel such things, yet I can honestly say that I have felt the above emotions at one time or another while attending different seminars.

That brings up the subject once more; is teaching enough?

Every single seminar that I have been to has presented some kind of new idea, training method, handling method, theory or the like. All are presented in a similar fashion, yet when it boils down to it what separates one from another?

The teaching.

Doesn't it?

Within the last couple of years (and without even realizing I was doing it until recently) somewhere along the line I started to create a Venn diagram of the sort in my head, and have been neatly categorizing instructors and subconsciously placing them into several different categories.

A Venn what?

A Venn diagram. Like the one below.

Except mine looks just a tad different...

Kidding! (Sort of...)

In all seriousness, if I had to actually write out a Venn-diagram I suppose it would look something like so;

For my own sake (and everyone else's for that matter) I kept it simple in regards to what the categories are; competitor, instructor and coach.

What exactly do they mean?

I took a quick peak at the definitions of each and they are pretty self explanatory:

Competitor: noun /kem'peteter/ a person who takes part in an athletic competition.

Instructor: noun /in-strektor/ someone who teaches something.

Coach: noun /koCH/ An athletic trainer in control of their team.

But what do they mean to me?

Competitor: First and foremost someone who strives to not only do their best, but to BE the best. Someone who pushes themselves to the next level of competition as an athlete and a handler. These individuals are at a point in their Agility career where they thrive on the "new" challenges Agility continues to offer. This group push themselves to rise to said challenges every time they step to the line with their dog(s).

Instructor: Someone who is able to skillfully teach and present different ideas, criteria, training options and such, to another individual or group in such a manner that the information is understood and fully comprehended. 

Coach: An individual who is able to emotionally and physically motivate another person and/or group enough, to not only pursue but to obtain their goals. This person strives to help others reach their full potential!

Is one better than any of the others? Absolutely not. Do I find myself drawn to certain individuals that may fall into multiple categories? Absolutely! Finding said individuals? That simply comes down to a lot of trial and error.

 I have worked with an individual who is a fabulous competitor and instructor, yet they dropped the ball in the coaching category and made me feel not only stupid but ill advised. At one particular seminar, I remember feeling like a deer in the headlights while working with my dog. I also remember how I couldn't wait to walk off the course and go crawl in a hole somewhere and remain their for the remainder of the day...

On the other hand, I have worked with an individual who is an absolutely fabulous coach and an even  fiercer competitor. I remember walking away from that seminar so ready to take on the Agility "world" that I could barely contain my excitement several hours later. Yet, if you asked me what mechanics and handling maneuvers were taught? I would have to think long and hard about it before consulting my handy, dandy, video camera to give you any semblance of an answer!

In a perfect world, or heck even in a perfect instructor I would love to find someone who fits neatly into the cute little pink "All" area of my Venn diagram. Does that person even exist? Maybe? Maybe not? At this point I haven't found that individual, but maybe the Agility Gods will shine down on me one day and find that individual for me...

Or, maybe that is the point?

That such a person doesn't exist? 

Maybe the point is that teaching is all just a balancing act? Finding that perfect blend to act as a fulcrum so you won't tip off into the deep end from one extreme to the other?

That still poses the question; is teaching enough?

Maybe? and maybe not?

For myself,? I can honestly say I am leaning towards a "no". 

For the masses? The verdict is still out on that one...

 And maybe instead of questioning the importance of teaching, maybe I should run away with my balancing act to join the circus and become a lion tamer!

North Central Regional 2014: Chitown Bound and Down.

I fleetingly mentioned in my last post that Da Boys and I competed at the North Central Regional a few weeks ago. It's taken me a bit to come back to it simply because I wanted to savor it just a bit more before I shared it with all of bloggerdom.

It was such a magical experience in its own right.

I got to see some friends I haven't seen in ages.

I got to hold and get peed on by probably the cutest little Border Collie baby ever.

I was able to meet some truly fabulous people in person for the first time.

I got to run both Viper and Blade for the first time in months.

Hands down it was our best Regional to-date.

I know I've said it countless times before that Viper is capable of showing me "moments of brilliance."
Not this weekend.
He didn't show me "moments" he was just simply brilliant.
I've never asked Viper to compete on a Team AND run all of the other classes before.
I've always thought that he was physically and mentally immature to handle the task of doing such a thing.

Boy was I wrong.

I'm not saying that we did everything perfectly.
No, we had a fall (leap if you will) off the dogwalk in Team Standard and just some small things pop up in a couple of other runs.
That didn't stop him from running like a well-oiled machine though. I will be the first to admit, I'm not particularly partial to that phrase even if it IS the only one that comes to mind that touches on how good our teamwork felt.
And let me be the first to say, that counts for something.
A whole hell of a lot of something.

The courses were challenging in their own right and gave me a lot of food for thought. The biggest realization that I came to over the entire weekend was that somewhere over the past few years I really have gotten away from verbals with my dogs and rely heavily on body cues alone to get them around the course. Blade has a fantastic understanding of "left" and "right" commands; that I have simply stopped using.

Now, he only ran in two rounds of Steeplechase at the Regional but I know if I would have entered him in some of the other runs I would have been able to handle him through some areas of the course (with the help of his verbals) that I had to get in Viper's path (and waste time) to get through the tough spots because I have never trained verbal "left" and "right" commands with him. Chalk that up to one BIG thing to put on our training to-do list.

Another thing on the training to-do list? Teaching the dog's to flick away from me after completing their contacts. There was a course or two that were a bit more challenging than they needed to be simply because I haven't fine-tuned the dogs exiting the contact and immediately flicking away from me to rocket into a tunnel or the like. I promised myself that would go down on the list. In BIG BOLD letters ;)

We came away from the Regional with several things to improve in the training department, as well as seeing some major improvement in areas that we have diligently been working on since the Central Regional last year. It feels good to be moving in a new direction with both the boys and I'm excited to see what comes of the August Regional.

That being said, as hard as I tried to keep the bragging to a minimum with this particular post I just couldn't help but add these two beauties below.

In my excitement just to be running Blade again I completely forgot to check scores for the Local Steeplechase until Saturday morning. Boy was a pleasantly surprised when Blade not only Q'd but ended up taking 3rd place as well!

I can't forget Viper either and in his weekend of complete brilliance, he and his two favorite teamies; Shiver and Rio managed to take home the title of North Central Regional DAM Team Champions. Being as that is quite the mouthful, Vipe requested that we just stick to referring to them as Cobra Starship and the Disco Queens ;)

Every. Single. Run.

Finding My Way Back

Nine Months...

It's been nine months since I've sat down and found my way back to my own little corner of Bloggerdom.

So many things have happened...

So, so many things...

More than I could possibly share in a single post.

So many things have changed.

So many things have become unimportant.

While others have become so much more.

I suppose I should touch a bit on USDAA Nationals this past fall (as this IS an Agility based blog).

The only thing I can say is that both of my boys made me unbelievably proud.

It was such a growing experience for me as a competitor and at the time I don't think I even realized how much so...

 For the better I might add. Oh, yes for the better.

After USDAA Nationals, the boys and I all got a much needed break from Agility. I was only home a week and a half before I jetted off to the Eastern Shore and spent a few wonderful days in Maryland. Then it was back home for another week and then I was off to Stuttgart, Arkansas to watch my boyfriend do his thing at the World Duck Calling Championships (yes, I promise it is a real thing!).

The rest of 2013 went by void of Agility and we rested. Our bodies, our minds, our souls. 

We lived. 

We looked forward to the limitless possibilities that 2014 had in store for us.

We entered our first Agility trial in months.

And then, my world nearly fell apart.

There is so much still shrouded in mystery as to how it happened

 but I almost had to say goodbye to this beautiful soul.

Somehow Blade ingested a large amount of rodenticide and it nearly killed him.

It nearly killed him.

Writing that sentence down somehow makes it all the more real to me and it still brings tears to my eyes.

Remembering that night is even harder.

Looking back I'm not even sure how I made it through the first few hours. 

We were in the same exact waiting room that I was in when the Vet told me Toby had no chance of recovering from his freak accident just a few short years ago.

 Something broke inside me sitting on the floor in that room.

I almost lost it. I did loose it.

And all the while, as I cradled my dog in my arms and I wept; he licked the tears from my face and his tail never stopped wagging.

We stayed as long as they would allow us to as they ran test, after test, after test. 

Until we finally got some sort of diagnosis (a poor guess; at best) but at least it was something.

And then the waiting began.

In the early hours of the morning the boyfriend finally drove me home (as I was in no condition to drive).

and then we waited some more.

The next morning I breathed a huge sigh of relief, as soon as my regular vet gave the all clear to transport Blade to her clinic 25 minutes away.

Several hours, two blood transfusions and some serious meds later, Dr. Wendy (my regular vet) gave me the go-ahead to take Blade home.

I wept like a baby.

I will be the first to admit that I'm not a religious person nor have I ever claimed to be but for whatever reason (be it divine intervention, luck, karma, science, whatever) my boy was spared. 

He was given back to me. 

For that alone I will forever be grateful.

And grateful I am.

So much so, that Blade has simply been a dog for the last little while. He's been enjoying long walks through the woods, playing fetch, wrestling with his brother and lazy days curled up by the couch.

For whatever reason, as hard as it for me to admit it I've had a hard time disconnecting Agility and Blade's incident. I know that two really are not connected other than the fact that we stayed in a hotel that weekend but still. In my head I keep thinking that I almost lost Blade because of Agility or something like that. It's a hard concept for me to let go of even though I realize how silly of me it is to think that way.

On the other hand Agility is what GAVE me Blade in the first place. Without my aspirations to have a faster dog in Agility (that in itself seems silly to me now) I would have never even considered owning a Border Collie.

How things have changed...

I had so many things I wanted to do with Blade this year as far as Agility goes. World Team Tryouts. USDAA North Central Regionals. USDAA Central Regionals. USDAA Nationals. Possibly the UKI Open. I wanted to do all of them, not just to do them but I wanted to do them with Blade. I wanted to let the world see him shine. Let them see him as I do.

And just like that, none of it mattered anymore.

Without realizing it, the ITT deadline was fast approaching in mid-March before I even gave the idea of competing there a fleeting thought. To be honest, if friends wouldn't have asked if I had planned to go I would have probably forgotten all about it. A few days before the closing date I sat down and I looked over the entry form for what seemed like forever.

There were so many questions going through my head and I really couldn't answer any of them other than the fact I was willing to let fate take its course. I ended up filling out and mailing our entry to AKC. As luck would have it our entry was not received by the closing date. Although I was given the option to run for exhibition.

And run for exhibition we will.

As far as the other events go, I really don't know what Blade and I have in store for us.
We may or may not compete at them.

I write this, after spending the past weekend at the USDAA North Central Regional...

Although I'm sure neither of them realize it; the only reason I even considered competing at the North Central Regional was because I made a promise to my regular DAM teammates. Let me tell you, when you have the best; you simply keep your promise to them to compete. It's that simple.

No, Blade did not run DAM Team (he let his little brother put his big-boy britches on for that). He more or less came along for the ride although I did enter him in two rounds of Steeplechase.

One run Friday and one run on Saturday.

I'm not sure how well I was able to hide it but I was a mess from the time I walked Blade's course to the moment we stepped to the line. I was worrying about the most ridiculous things. THE most ridiculous things.

Then we ran.
By no means was it perfect,
By no means was it the best run of our career,
by no means was it a jaw dropping performance,

Blade crept as I lead out,
He barely hit his Aframe contact with half a paw,
and he squeaked the entire time he did his weave poles.

It was perfect.
Absolutely so.

So much so that I started crying half way through our run.
and the entire time we played tug at the end.
and maybe even a little back at our crates after we cooled down.

It felt so good, so right to have my Bee's back out there running with me.
All was right in my Agility world.
It became whole again.

And for me that is enough.